A Song of Ice and Lolz
"They say it’s not great to have children in threes because one kid always winds up feeling left out. Could you imagine if your siblings were twins and fucking? Talk about a third wheel. "
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Recap Episode 2, Season One
Previously: Zombies, Wolves, Haircuts, Rape, Dragon Eggs, Twincest, Walls, Defenestration, etc. etc.
Across the Narrow Sea!
Daenerys is taking five when Jorah comes over because Jorah is never anywhere farther than 5 seconds from being up Daenerys’s ass at all times. Jorah is like, “You need to take care of yourself,” and gives her a horse slim jim. Her face says, “If I eat another piece of horse meat I’m going to ralph.” Jorah tells her the Dothraki believe in a ghost grass that will destroy all living crops and take over the world because they are super concerned about global warming. Daenerys, “Is this supposed to be making me feel better or…” Jorah sees Daenerys looking apprehensively at Drogo and tells her it will get easier. She looks at him like, “Gross old man, why would you say that?” and rides away. Jorah, “A swing and a miss.”
The Dothraki make camp. Jorah stops Viserys and is like, “Uhh dude don’t you wanna go back to the hotel, it doesn’t really seem like camping is your thing.”
Viserys, “I don’t want a hotel I want an army.” He picks up on Jorah’s condenscion and brings up his slave trading because Viserys is a manipulative dick. He makes Jorah tell him about how he got caught selling slaves by Ned Stark. Viserys, “Sucks to be you dude. Btw you can totally do that when I’m king and there will be a soda machine in the cafeteria, senior parking on Thursday and Friday, it’s going to be totally sweet.” Iain Glen says the word, “douche” under his breath as Viserys walks away.
